Wait what the fuck am I reading

What would I do if I were a magical dickgirl?

I would find myself a little cute girl, imprison her in an incredibly tall tower without an entrance and only one window. I would magically enchant her so that she'd grow a dick, just like me.

One day when I was out grocery shopping, a prince would appear wanting to meet the princess. Since he couldn't get up, she'd let her dick out of the window so that he'd be able to climb up.

Being happy thinking that she's finally freed from her fate as my dickgirl sexslave, and looking forward to live happily ever after with this prince of hers, they shared a kiss. The kiss would then magically remove her dick, making her a normal girl.

Needless to say, the prince would leave her immediately and go on a journey to find the next dickgirl.

Whenever I wasn't taking care of Dickpunzel, I would spend time in my vacation castle. There I would raise another dickgirl, who was as black as shit. She would be known as Shitblack. One day when I looked in my mirror I asked "who's got the biggest dick of them all" and the mirror would say "Shitblack, my queen". Being upset, I would then proceed to banish her from the country.

While banished, she'd come upon a little cottage in the woods. There she found seven dwarves, who fucked her silly day in and day out.

I figured that was too good a destiny for someone like her, so I went over there with a poisoned dildo. She used it and fainted from the pleasure, and never woke up.

Not until the prince came and kissed her, that is. Unfortunately the kiss removed the dick enchant as well, so the prince had to make another journey to find his perfect dickgirl.

Obviously, these weren't the only dickgirls I had made. About a hundred and fifteen years earlier, I had decided to crash a party. While crashing the party, I had noticed that every other magic dickgirl fairy in the country had been invited, so needless to say I was pretty upset. I decided to curse the newborn daughter of the party organizer; "when she turns 15, she will be continually raped by negroes and the shock will make her fall asleep forever!". Another of the dickgirl fairies then decided that when that happens, everyone else in the castle would fall asleep and that they would all wake up when a prince inserts his penis in any one of the princess' holes.

Years passed, and all of a sudden the princess turned 15. Her father had always told her "keep away from the prison dungeon it's a bad place" but she wanted to see the fabled creatures that where said to be dark as the night. She went there and was raped. Everyone fell asleep. As to make sure that no one would be able to wake them up, I raised a barrier of dicks to surround the castle.

Many princes tried to find the sleeping dickgirl, but they all failed. They where so fascinated by the many dicks growing out of the ground, and decided to try them out. Little did they know that they would be skewered by the dicks.

After around a hundred years of sleep, the same prince that found Dickpunzel and Shitblack arrived. He was very determined to find himself a genuine dickgirl and firmly believed that this was it. By placing a blindfold on himself, he was able to resist the temptation of trying out the many dicks. Arriving at the prison dungeons, he found the princess impaled by the many black rods. After removing them all, he placed himself in the 69 position and fucked her throat. She woke up and was happy that her prince was there with his dick in her mouth.

They then traveled back to his country and lived happily ever after. That is, until they shared a kiss and she lost her dick. Obviously, he then got rid of her.

Starting to despair, the prince cursed the magical charm that had been placed on him at birth. He knew that his parents had meant well, but the ability to reveal somethings true form by kissing it couldn't be any more inconvenient to the prince. All he wanted was someone he could marry that had a dick, but still could give birth to his children. Was this so much to ask for!?

He decided to make one last try. He organized a huge party, requesting dickgirls from all over the country. This time he was going to find a genuine one.

One dickgirl that really wanted to go was Dickerella. A poor little ordinary girl whose stepmother acted like her pimp, forcing her to sell her body to old men.

I decided that I wanted to help someone out for once, so I appeared in front of the girl and said "hey, I can get you a dick for the party if you want. You can't kiss him though since that would remove the dick." She really wanted to be a princess, so I helped her out and made her a good-looking s&m dress.

After arriving at the castle, she and the prince immediately hit it off and started touching each other in the middle of the crowd. While they where stroking their dicks, the prince suddenly wanted to kiss her because he wanted to make sure she was the one. She knew this would remove her dick, so she ran away as fast as she could. On the way out, the ring that had been the one thing keeping her majestic penis from erupting dropped off (since she went flaccid from panicking).

The prince conducted a search all around the country to find her but almost gave up due to finding no penis that matched the penisring. Finally he came upon Dickerella's house and found that her penis was a perfect match. He then forced a kiss on her, and the dick disappeared. Frustrated he shouted: "WHY IS IT THAT EVERY DICKGIRL I FIND IS A MAGICALLY ENCHANTED DICKGIRL?! IS THERE NO JUSTICE!?!" He then grasped his blade and pointed it towards his heart.

"If I cannot find the perfect dickgirl, there is no longer any need for me to live... Father, everyone... goodbye."

Just when the prince was about to pierce his heart with the blade, I appeared and stopped him.

"I'm sorry to have caused you such anguish, my prince. It's just that I wanted to fill the world with beautiful dickgirls just like me, I felt so lonely... that's why I used magic to make girls just like me..."

The prince, shocked by what I said, suddenly lit up. "That means... that you're a dickgirl as well?" Since I was no longer was an evil dickgirl fairy, I decided to tell him the truth. I am indeed a dickgirl.

The prince kissed me, and the air was filled with light. Disappointed, the prince sighed. "So you were just another girl who was blessed with a magic dick huh..." is what he said. Until he noticed that there was something pointing out from my dress. I had to explain that I was originally a male who somehow obtained magic powers, and made myself a dickgirl. Thus, now that the magic has been broken, I still have a dick.

"Ah well, I guess I'll never find the perfect dickgirl, I'll just be happy with you. Who cares if I never get a kid and the country breaks down, as long as I can have dick it's all fine!!!" said the prince happily. Since my magic powers had been removed and I could no longer create my perfect dickgirl harem, I figured I'd just marry the bishounen prince.

We lived happily ever after. The end. Oh and the country broke into war trying to decide a worthy heir and the war continued for... well, forever. Several billion lives were lost.


This fabulous tale was not written by me.

Wouldn't it be exciting if I became one of SG's first H1N1 Infleunza subtype-A victims?

I have the headache, the sore throat, the occational aches...

Wee.

Also, it seems that my results will be another weight to carry.


You're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight
A long time